I love God.  But He and I need to talk about an issue:  timing.  The phone conversation would go like this:

Hello, God, is that you?  You’re not too busy?  Great, you’ve got all the time in the world.

God, I just turned 61, and the years are going by so fast.  What’s that?  Seems like yesterday, but then again, what is “yesterday”?  Yeah, I understand, “yesterday” is like a thousand years.  Which is why we need to talk. 

God, our timing is off.  I’ve read the stories about how you’ve made and kept promises.  Don’t you think your timing is off?  People who read your promises never seem to live long enough to collect.  

No, no, I’m not saying you should just snap your fingers every time someone complains.  Although. . . if anyone could just snap His fingers . . .

Anyway, what I’m saying is, seems like your promises literally take thousands of years to keep.  Like the Jews becoming a great nation, or being dispersed, and brought back as a nation, or Jesus being born, or Jesus coming back.  Even a walk across the desert to the Promised Land took 40 years.  

You can see the scope of the problem.  People are getting crazy.  We think the world will end, and you’ll keep your promise to create a new world.  Every year someone sets the date.  Never happens.  The timing is way off, wouldn’t you agree?  

Oh, sorry, no, of course, I know you don’t have time for this, I just thought if anyone had time, it would be you.  What’s that?  You’re busy.  Sure, sure, I feel awful, I know how valuable your time is.  You’re kidding, you take naps?  It’s time for your nap?  That’s hilarious. Who would have thought?  God, ummm, may I ask, how long is your nap?

Just a few hours you say, wow, what a relief.  Umm God, just how long would that be, you know, in your time?  1/24 times 1000 years?   Uh, OK God, I guess this really does mean “Goodbye.”  

Yeah, sure, sure, let’s talk tomorrow.

Zephaniah 3:20

On Judgment Day
I’ll bring you back home– a great family gathering!
You’ll be famous and honored
all over the world.
You’ll see it with your own eyes–
all those painful partings turned into reunions! “
GOD’s Promise.